13 Hilarious Fashion ‘Rules’ From Teen Magazines That Everyone Followed
Remember flipping through teen magazines, those glossy, pastel-colored pages that promised to unlock the secret to being effortlessly cool?
Back then, every “fashion rule” felt like it came straight from the style gods, and we followed them without hesitation—even if they were totally bonkers. From layering five scrunchies on one wrist to matching your nail polish to your mood ring, these quirky trends were the real deal.
Those magazines were our style bibles, packed with baffling beauty tips, bold outfit ideas, and advice columns that somehow always involved glitter. Looking back, it’s clear that many of those so-called “rules” were more cringe than chic—but they were also a rite of passage.
So buckle up and join me on this hilarious trip through 13 unforgettable teen magazine fashion commandments. Spoiler: we wore them with pride!
1. Denim on Denim
Once upon a time, we all thought doubling up on denim was the epitome of chic. Clad in a denim jacket and matching jeans, I strutted through the halls, feeling like a pop star. Back then, no one told me denim on denim was a risky fashion move.
In my defense, those glossy magazine pages promised it was the ultimate style statement. A friend even complimented me, claiming I looked just like a young celebrity. Little did I know, the fashion world would later label it a ‘Canadian Tuxedo’.
Did you ever rock this trend, pairing blues upon blues with unbridled confidence?
2. Chunky Platform Shoes
Platform shoes, the taller, the better! These towering giants were my go-to for extra height, despite the constant wobbling. Once, I nearly toppled down the stairs, but hey, fashion requires sacrifice, right?
With each clunky step, I felt like a Spice Girl in training, ready to take on the world with added inches. They were the shoes every magazine swore would make us look like runway rockstars.
Remember the blisters and sore feet? Yeah, me too. But those platforms taught us to walk tall, even if it meant risking a tumble or two.
3. Frosted Lip Gloss
Frosted lip gloss was the icing on our faces, literally. Every teen mag insisted that shiny lips were the ultimate allure, never mind if it looked like we kissed a snowman.
The stickier, the better! I spent countless hours reapplying layers, ensuring maximum frostiness. And let’s not forget those sticky lip gloss mishaps with wind and hair.
It was a trend that left us glossy and glimmering, a beacon of light in dimly lit classrooms. Who knew that looking like a glazed donut was the height of teenage sophistication?
4. Butterfly Clips
Butterfly clips fluttered into our lives, transforming every hairstyle into a whimsical masterpiece. I adorned my mane with a kaleidoscope of colors, each clip a tiny declaration of style.
These plastic wonders were the crowning glory of my after-school get-togethers. Every clip served as a conversation starter, a testament to my impeccable taste. They weren’t just hair accessories; they were fashion statements!
The more butterflies, the better. Did you ever try to fit the whole rainbow in your hair? We rocked those clips like budding fashion icons.
5. Temporary Tattoos
Ever fancied a tattoo without the lifelong commitment? Enter temporary tattoos, the rebellious yet completely reversible trend. I plastered them across my arms, relishing in the faux edgy vibe.
Teen magazines proclaimed them the ultimate accessory for instant coolness. I remember flaunting a dragon design, feeling like a rock star.
These little skin stickers gave us the satisfaction of rebellion while assuring our parents it was just a phase. Temporary, but unforgettable! Did you ever think you’d keep these little art pieces beyond a few days?
6. Faux Fur Everything
Faux fur was the texture of our teenage dreams! Wrapping myself in fluffy coats, I felt like a diva ready for a red carpet. Those magazines promised glamour without harm to animals.
I remember the warmth and the looks of envy from my peers. Each wear was a luxury experience, even if it was a bit over-the-top for homeroom.
We strutted in our faux fur, feeling posh and plush. Did you ever have a special faux fur piece that you cherished and flaunted?
7. Velvet Everything
Velvet was the fabric that made everyday feel like a special occasion. I slipped into velvet dresses and instantly felt the allure of sophistication.
Teen magazines raved about how velvet could transform anyone into a royal with minimal effort. I still recall the soft touch and rich colors; a velvet piece was a wardrobe essential.
Did you ever have a velvet ensemble that made you feel like a movie star at the school dance? Velvet was a touch of class in our casual teen lives.
8. Mood Rings
Mood rings, the jewelry with a mind of its own! These mystical pieces changed colors, supposedly revealing our inner thoughts.
I wore mine religiously, checking its color to gauge my ‘mood.’ Magazines swore by their magical qualities, making them must-haves.
They weren’t just rings; they were conversation starters, sparking debates on their accuracy. Did you ever find yourself believing in the mood ring’s magic, even just a little?
9. Crimped Hair
Crimped hair was the ultimate way to stand out in a crowd. Armed with a crimper, I transformed my hair into a zigzagged masterpiece.
Teen mags guaranteed it was the ticket to hair envy. Each crimp was a labor of love, turning every strand into a work of art.
Did you ever spend hours perfecting your crimping technique, only to be caught in the rain? Crimped hair was a bold statement in the beauty landscape.
10. Baggy Overalls
Baggy overalls were the uniform of cool and casual. I lived in mine, believing they were the pinnacle of laid-back style.
Every magazine endorsed them, and I took the bait, with straps sometimes worn down for added nonchalance.
Did you ever pair yours with a graphic tee, ready to take on the world, one oversized pocket at a time? Overalls were childhood comfort reimagined for the teenage years.
11. Over-the-Top Nail Art
Nail art was where creativity met the fingertips. My nails were canvases for glitter, rhinestones, and every shade known to humanity.
Following the magazine tutorials, I mastered the art of nail decoration. Each finger was a mini gallery exhibit.
Did you ever spend hours perfecting designs, only to have them chip away too soon? Nail art was a colorful escape from ordinary manicures.
12. Slap Bracelets
Slap bracelets were the ultimate classroom distraction. With a flick of the wrist, they snapped onto arms with satisfying precision.
Teen magazines declared them the accessory of the century. I collected them in every color, a noisy testament to my fashion foresight.
Did you ever get caught snapping them in class, much to the teacher’s dismay? Slap bracelets were simple joys in our school day.
13. Body Glitter
Body glitter was the sparkle every outfit needed. I doused myself liberally, convinced it was the secret to shining at every event.
Those magazine ads promised that a bit of glitter would make us the star of any room. I was a walking disco ball, sparkling from head to toe.
Did you ever find sparkles days after the event, reminding you of the glittery good times? Body glitter was a shimmering staple in our fashion arsenal.