7 Office Traditions That Need To Go – And 7 We Secretly Wish Would Come Back

Office traditions: those quirky rituals that toe the line between heartwarming and hilariously outdated. From birthday sheet cakes in the breakroom to the dreaded “team-building trust fall,” some of these customs deserve a one-way ticket to the recycling bin.

And yet… some part of us secretly misses them. Maybe it’s the communal grumbling over potluck assignments or the way everyone awkwardly sings “Happy Birthday” like it’s a hostage negotiation. This blog post is your backstage pass to the greatest hits (and flops) of workplace traditions.

We’ll laugh at the eye-roll-worthy moments, nod in quiet appreciation of the ones that actually brought us together, and sprinkle in a few personal tales that might just trigger your own memories.

So grab your lukewarm coffee, spin your swivel chair, and join us as we salute the office customs we love to hate — and those we hate to admit we kinda loved.

1. Forced Fun Friday “Team-Building” Events

Friday afternoons should be a herald of the weekend, not a marathon of awkward trust falls and cringe-worthy icebreakers. Remember that time when I accidentally called my boss ‘mom’ during a forced fun event? Yeah, let’s not relive that. Instead of crafting faux camaraderie through forced fun, let’s give people the one thing they desperately want—an early start to the weekend.

Imagine the joy of leaving work early on a Friday, basking in the freedom that comes with an extra-long weekend. That’s a real morale booster. Trust falls, on the other hand, only build physical pain when someone inevitably hits the ground.

Our office should be a place of genuine teamwork, not a playground of forced fun. So, let’s say goodbye to these draining events and hello to authentic connections formed over genuine conversations. Real team-building happens naturally, not through mandated “fun” activities. Let’s shift our focus from orchestrated amusement to genuine engagement.

2. Birthday Cards Everyone Pretends to Care About

Birthday cards, the ultimate workplace charade. I’ve signed countless cards with ‘Have a great day!’ for colleagues I barely know. Let’s face it, these cards only serve to clutter our desks and minds. They’re like a polite nod in the hallway—nice, but not memorable.

Why must we continue this tradition of feigned enthusiasm? A genuine birthday wish or even a small treat would mean more than a card that gets tossed into the recycling bin by day’s end. It’s time to ditch the cards and focus on authentic celebrations.

Instead of 17 signatures of obligatory cordiality, how about a sincere gesture or a moment of real connection? Save the trees and our sanity by leaving behind this outdated ritual. Let’s celebrate with genuine warmth and perhaps a slice of cake instead.

After all, less is more when it comes to showing we care.

3. Open Office Plans

Open office plans were supposed to revolutionize collaboration. Instead, they’ve turned into arenas of chaos and chatter. My own escape has become the comforting hum of noise-canceling headphones, blocking out the cacophony.

Instead of fostering communication, open plans have become breeding grounds for passive-aggressive Slack messages and whispered complaints. The intention was noble, but the execution? Not so much. We miss walls and doors, those sweet symbols of solitude.

Let’s admit it, privacy is not the enemy of productivity. In fact, it nurtures creativity and concentration. Perhaps it’s time to rethink our spaces, creating environments that respect individual needs while still allowing for meaningful collaboration.

Walls can keep secrets—and focus—intact. Maybe not all openness is good. Let’s find a balance.

4. The Microwaved Fish Incident

Ah, the notorious microwaved fish incident—a crime against nostrils everywhere. I recall one fateful lunch when the entire floor was engulfed in a fishy fog. Did we offend Poseidon himself?

It’s an office mystery why such culinary faux pas continue. There ought to be a warning sign or, better yet, an office decree. The break room should be a haven, not an aroma assault.

Perhaps we need an office handbook titled ‘The Do’s and Don’ts of Microwave Etiquette.’ Let’s keep the peace (and the smell) within the confines of the kitchen.

Let’s remember, folks, some things are better left unmicrowaved. Respect your coworkers’ olfactory senses—it’s the least we can do for harmony in shared spaces.

5. Endless “Reply All” Email Threads

“Thanks!” echoes through the inbox like a relentless digital boomerang, triggering an avalanche of ‘Reply All’ chaos. One person’s gratitude becomes everyone’s email agony.

We’ve all experienced it: the inbox explosion that follows harmless replies. There’s a special circle of digital purgatory reserved for these threads—where email overload reigns supreme.

Can we all agree to spare each other the unnecessary notifications? Let’s embrace restraint, keeping inboxes clean and our sanity intact. Because in the end, silence is golden.

It’s time to end the tyranny of ‘Reply All’ and reclaim our email peace. Let’s keep our gratitude a private affair.

6. Office-Supply Hoarding Like It’s the Apocalypse

Is it an office or a bunker? The line blurs when Janet turns her desk into a fortress of staplers and sticky notes. We’ve all seen it—a hoarder’s paradise disguised as workplace preparedness.

Why the obsession with stockpiling? Maybe it’s a primal instinct triggered by the fear of running out of paperclips mid-report. But let’s face it, six staplers are five too many.

Let’s bring order to chaos and share the wealth of supplies. After all, sharing is caring, even in the office. Let’s not prepare for an apocalypse that only exists in Janet’s imagination.

We can work smarter, not harder, when supplies are used, not hoarded. It’s time to let go and let others staple.

7. Pointless Daily Stand-Ups That Could’ve Been a Slack Message

Gather around, say something you did yesterday, and watch as eyes glaze over. Daily stand-ups, the ritual of repetition, where agility turns into exhaustion.

Why must we endure this daily dance of monotony? A Slack message could suffice, sparing us the ritual of pretending interest. Instead, let’s reserve meetings for meaningful dialogues.

Our time is precious, and energy finite. Let’s use both wisely and embrace the power of asynchronous updates.

Not every moment requires a meeting. Let’s break free from the stand-up cycle and save our stand-up skills for comedy clubs, not office routines.

8. Casual Friday (That Actually Meant Something)

Remember when Casual Friday was the highlight of the week, not a watered-down “business casual” charade? My collection of quirky graphic tees longs for the spotlight once again.

Let’s rekindle the joy of true comfort, where jeans and tees replace stiff suits and ties. The freedom to express personality through attire can be a refreshing break from conformity.

Casual Friday should be a celebration, not a compromise. The workplace can be both professional and relaxed, offering a slice of authenticity amidst the corporate facade.

Let us be comfy, dang it. Resurrect Casual Friday—not just in name, but in spirit.

9. Real Coffee Breaks

Not all heroes wear capes; some bring baked goods from Grandma. Real coffee breaks were once an art form, complete with actual conversations and the aroma of freshly brewed camaraderie.

Sneaking sips at your desk is no substitute for the rejuvenating pause of a true break. Let’s revive the social ritual of coffee breaks, where work pauses and humanity reigns.

A shared story over a cup of joe can turn colleagues into friends and fuel creativity. Let’s reclaim the coffee pot as a gathering spot, not just a caffeine dispenser.

Take a break, smell the coffee, and savor the blend of connection and caffeine.

10. Holiday Desk Decorating Contests

Deck the desks with boughs of holly! Holiday decorating contests brought a splash of festivity to the mundane office setting, turning December 14th into a day of joyful competition.

Sure, someone always went overboard, but it was all in good fun. The creative displays of holiday spirit ignited camaraderie and laughter amidst the tinsel and lights.

These contests offered a playful escape from the daily grind, inviting creativity and holiday cheer into the workplace. Let’s bring back the sparkle, encouraging teams to express their festive flair.

After all, a little silliness can go a long way in brightening the office atmosphere.

11. Celebrating Weird Milestones

One-year anniversaries with donuts, ringing a bell for deals closed, and goofy trophies for ‘Best Zoom Background’—quirky milestones once brought joy and unity to the office.

These celebrations, though unconventional, fostered a sense of belonging and recognition. They made work more than a paycheck, creating moments of shared delight.

Let’s revive these quirky traditions, turning everyday achievements into memorable celebrations. A little recognition can boost morale and create a culture of positivity.

Celebrate the weird and the wonderful, because sometimes it’s the small things that make the biggest impact.

12. Office Bulletin Boards With Real, Physical Stuff

Before digital everything, the bulletin board was the heart of the office—a treasure trove of jokes, announcements, and tales of lost mugs with Garfield on them.

It was a real, tangible connection in a digital age, bringing a splash of color and personality to the sterile workspace. Let’s not underestimate the power of a well-placed pun or an enlightening announcement.

Reviving the physical bulletin board can reintroduce tactile engagement, sparking conversations and interactions that build community.

Let’s pin up some laughter and connection, one thumbtack at a time.

13. Lunches Away From Desks

Eating at your computer while answering emails isn’t a break—it’s a cry for help. Let’s bring back the joy of communal lunches, where meals are shared and friendships forged.

Taking time away from the desk can refresh the mind and foster genuine connections. It’s a reminder that we’re humans, not just worker bees.

Let’s encourage stepping away from screens and engaging in lively lunchtime banter. The office cafeteria can be a hub of interaction, not isolation.

Let’s nourish both body and soul, creating balance in the workplace.

14. The Communal Candy Jar

The communal candy jar—unsanitary, perhaps, but a beacon of shared joy. Nothing sparked conversations like reaching for a mini Snickers or debating the merits of candy corn.

It was a sweet social glue, offering a moment of indulgence and connection. A candy jar isn’t just about sugar; it’s about shared moments and unexpected conversations.

Let’s revive the jar with a modern twist—perhaps individual portions to satisfy both sweet tooths and health considerations.

Let’s savor the sweetness of togetherness, one candy at a time.