13 Snacks from the 80s That Wouldn’t Be Allowed Today

The 1980s were a playground of unforgettable flavors, and snack time was an unapologetic sugar rush filled with neon colors, artificial flavors, and zero nutritional concerns.

From questionable marketing choices to sky-high sugar content, some of these nostalgic treats wouldn’t stand a chance under today’s stricter food regulations.

While we may fondly reminisce about tearing into these childhood favorites, it’s easy to see why they’ve faded into the past.

Let’s take a tasty trip down memory lane with 13 snacks from the 80s that would have modern health experts clutching their organic granola bars.

1. Jell-O Pudding Pops

Jell-O Pudding Pops were the creamy, dreamy treat that made snack time feel like dessert heaven on a stick. These frozen delights packed a punch of chocolate and vanilla goodness, but they also came loaded with sugar and artificial additives.

While they weren’t the worst offender on this list, their nutritional profile left much to be desired. With today’s concerns over high-fructose corn syrup and processed dairy, these pudding pops would likely be reformulated or replaced with dairy-free alternatives.

Though long discontinued, they still live on in the hearts of snack lovers who remember their rich, velvety texture on a hot summer day.

2. Candy Cigarettes

Yes, these were a real thing—thin, chalky sugar sticks meant to resemble real cigarettes, complete with fake smoke from powdered sugar. Kids would puff pretend smoke, imitating adults, while their parents thought nothing of it.

Looking back, it’s wild to think that a snack so directly linked to smoking culture was marketed toward children. In today’s world, health advocacy groups would riot if a candy company tried this again.

While candy cigarettes still exist in some specialty stores, they’ve mostly disappeared from mainstream snack aisles. And honestly? Good riddance.

3. Fruit Wrinkles

Marketed as a fun fruit snack, Fruit Wrinkles were basically the rebellious cousin of raisins, but with an insane amount of sugar and artificial dyes.

Sure, they had the word “fruit” in the name, but let’s be real—they were candy in disguise. Today’s parents scrutinize ingredient lists, and something this artificially flavored wouldn’t survive without major reformulation.

They may be gone, but they live on in the memories of kids who gleefully devoured them by the handful.

4. Planters Cheez Balls

Crispy, crunchy, and dangerously addictive, Planters Cheez Balls were the ultimate cheesy indulgence. The problem? Their nuclear-orange hue came from artificial dyes, and they lacked any real nutritional value beyond “cheese-flavored dust.”

While the nostalgia factor remains strong, today’s snackers are more likely to reach for organic cheese puffs with real cheddar and no artificial colors.

Cheez Balls made a comeback in recent years, but with health-conscious consumers eyeing labels, they may not stick around forever.

5. Squeezit

Squeezit was as much about the bottle as it was the drink itself. The fun, plastic bottles made squeezing out every last drop of the neon-colored sugar water an exciting event.

The issue? Squeezit was more sugar than fruit juice and packed with artificial dyes that would make a rainbow jealous. It was essentially a liquid sugar rush with a clever marketing strategy.

Today, parents favor real fruit juices or sugar-free alternatives, making Squeezit’s return highly unlikely.

6. Carnation Breakfast Bars

Carnation Breakfast Bars tried to convince parents they were a nutritious way to start the day—but spoiler alert: they weren’t.

With more sugar than fiber, these so-called “meal replacements” were basically granola bars disguised as breakfast. Today’s standards demand high protein, fiber-rich breakfast bars, not a morning sugar crash.

While some fans still miss them, modern breakfast bars have come a long way, leaving Carnation’s version in the dust.

7. Hubba Bubba Soda

For some reason, someone thought, “Hey, what if we turned bubblegum into soda?” And thus, Hubba Bubba Soda was born.

With zero nutritional value and enough sugar to send a small child into orbit, this drink was the epitome of unnecessary. It was essentially liquid bubblegum, which sounds fun in theory but was a dentist’s nightmare.

Modern soda brands aim for natural flavors, making Hubba Bubba Soda’s bubblegum bonanza a relic of the past.

8. Viennetta

If you grew up in the 80s, Viennetta felt like the Rolls-Royce of frozen desserts. Its delicate layers of ice cream and crisp chocolate made it the ultimate dinner party dessert.

The issue? It was more processed than it looked, with stabilizers and artificial flavors keeping it in picture-perfect condition.

It’s still available in some places, but today’s consumers tend to favor artisanal, real-ingredient frozen treats over nostalgic but over-processed desserts.

9. Jungle Juice

Marketed as a fun, tropical fruit drink, Jungle Juice was basically melted popsicles in a box. It had little to no real fruit juice, just high fructose corn syrup and an artificial fruit-like taste.

As the 90s introduced 100% juice and “no sugar added” drinks, Jungle Juice faded into obscurity. If it were released today, it would need a serious makeover—or be laughed out of the grocery store.

10. Shark Bites

Shark Bites were THE fruit snack of the 80s, featuring different colored gummy sharks, including the coveted rare white shark.

They were fun, but not remotely healthy. Made almost entirely of sugar, gelatin, and artificial dyes, they wouldn’t stand a chance against today’s organic, whole-fruit-based gummy snacks.

Still, those who grew up with Shark Bites remember them fondly, even if they were basically candy disguised as “fruit.”

11. Keebler Magic Middles

Keebler Magic Middles were buttery shortbread cookies with a gooey, chocolatey center—an absolute delight for 80s kids.

The problem? They were packed with preservatives, hydrogenated oils, and enough sugar to make your dentist cry.

Though they disappeared, fans still long for their return, even if today’s health-conscious world might not embrace them so warmly.

12. Bonkers! Candy

Bonkers! Candy took chewy fruit candy to another level, with a wild burst of artificial flavoring inside each piece.

The hyper-intense taste and sugar overload would make modern nutritionists faint. They were discontinued, and despite some brief attempts at a revival, they haven’t fully returned—probably for the best.

13. Bubble Tape

Bubble Tape was bubblegum on steroids—a six-foot roll of sugary, artificially flavored chewing gum that kids would eat way too much of at once.

With artificial flavors, questionable dyes, and a sugar rush waiting to happen, it’s no wonder today’s gum brands lean toward sugar-free options.

Still, Bubble Tape remains a legend in snack history, proving that sometimes, more was definitely more in the 80s.